stream

Twenty-four April, 2005
Stream

Lies. Lies. They’re all lies that are the bricks the stones that make the tower of my captivity, and here I am at the top trying to destroy them while I am still in it.

Horrible dragon flying around me breathing fire coughing smoke, parental ties all around me won’t let me go, want to be free, want to be red, the color of beauty and than fall haplessly with hope into the open sky trust give me wings to fly or drop like a stone like when I’m alone, no one but clouds of white to catch me, and I’m caught up in blue, in eyes, in truth that hurt all the lies that pierce me.

Today green grass, mother, father, sister, brother, empty glass of hope and healing cause I’ve drunk it all in and I’m beginning to swim around and around. Freedom comes in the strangest colors, sounds, hands that break, hands that heal, hearts that take and hearts that give, one in the same, rescue me again.

Hope, for some reason I’m like this season of spring, flowers of the field, Solomon’s dream of beauty vainly resting on youths hunches, hope I’m not all lost to the clutches of the wind and fire that has devoured me from the beginning.

Hope prevails, winds gale, life unexpected, love resurrected in me, I’m a tree God’s planting from before time, God’s hope in my life.

I love hope, I am hope. I am a song that he sings, I am life that he brings I am healing, I am wounding, I am loved, I am adored. A king who loves, a king who desires, a king who’s on fire, loves a queen like me. Nobility press me on every side, coming alive. Again spring is green, mercy, new, hope has life in it.

I am healed, healing, everything forgiven.

Am I true to my words, am I making this up? Or is this really inside of me? Are you setting me free?

Hope springs eternal…

I am a tree, I am walking through a door patience, faith, hope, waiting, that’s what I’m here for. Love me strong, love me tender, love me long through this night, through the spinning of my soul, I’m letting go, false expectations, soul realizations, disappointments in human relations, letting go of my past, letting go of my dad, my mom, my self-aggrandizing nature, of my false humility, I am a tree.